


leap year

by sleepees



Category: Final Fantasy X & Final Fantasy X-2
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-02
Updated: 2019-06-27
Packaged: 2019-07-23 22:57:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16168538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sleepees/pseuds/sleepees
Summary: gippal's going to be away for their one year anniversary, so rikku decides to take matters into her own hands. that is, until she runs into someone that's going to screw up all her totally awesome plans.





	1. popping the question

**Author's Note:**

> *bayhid means 'peanut'

Rikku has been dating Gippal for 11 months and 22 days. Realistically, the beginning of their relationship could be timestamped far earlier - they've known each other since they were kids, and they had some weird on and off moments throughout adolescence. But for the past basically-a-year-already, Rikku and Gippal have been going steady. In a committed relationship (or whatever).

The _only_ reason Rikku knows how long it's been down to the yearmonthday is because in a little over a week, it'll be their anniversary. Their first _real_ anniversary.

And Gippal's going to be all the way in Zanarkand for some stupid energy project.

Okay, it's probably not stupid.

To be honest, it doesn't bother her that they won't be together for it. At least, it didn't, until _just now_ when she mentioned it to Yunie, who made a pouty face and cooed at Rikku, grabbing her arms and pulling her into a hug as if it was some kind of big deal.

She'd known Gippal so long that it didn't really matter much to her - or, that's what she tried to explain to Yuna, who just seemed so sad, like it was glassy-eyes-almost-crying-worthy that Rikku's relationship didn't reach all the same romantic heights hers did.

Rikku catches that thought and huffs. She has no idea why she'd been so resentful and jealous of Yuna and Tidus and their epic, transcendent, meant-to-be forever-and-ever perfect bliss. She really, _really_ hates that she's started resenting their happiness, because they're her best friends, by a long shot. It can just get a little unbearable hanging out with two people so completely and totally in love with each other when you feel so stuck.

It's weird, though, because Rikku _never_ used to feel like that. Like, seriously, ever. Third wheeling Yuna and Tidus was one of her favourite things to do when he came back four years ago; she loved seeing them so happy, so satisfied.

She sighs and rests her head on Yuna's shoulder.

Maybe she is a little upset with Gippal.

"Oh!" Yuna releases Rikku but keeps a firm grip on her arms, "I just remembered! I saw Gippal leaving Rin's new store in Luca!"

"When were you in Luca?"

"For the Aurochs game last week!"

Rikku cocks her head, squinting at Yuna. "Um, okay Yunie."

"Rikku! Rin's new store is all expensive jewelry!" Yuna's eyes were bright. Rikku just squints. "Maybe... he got a ring!"

"Are you sure, Yunie? I dunno if Gippal is into, y'know, marriage."

"It must be!"

Rikku smiles and nods away to satisfy the little glint of joy in Yuna's eye, who has put two and two together, even if two and two are totally inconvenient stretches that have nothing to do with each other. Her cousin is a spring of hopefullness that never runs dry, and it reminds Rikku that the sun is shining, the sand is soft, and the world is still in eternal calm. She doesn't need a boy to keep her content, she's always been just fine filling her time (even if it would be nice).

So Rikku laughs away, laying back on the beach in Besaid with her best friend, water lapping towards their feet, and doesn't think about Gippal or the one point five percent chance that he's gonna propose until the sun sets, and it's time for Rikku to climb back onto the Celcius.

YRP went their separate ways after destroying Vegnagun, and it wasn't until Iutycyr Tower that Rikku started reorganizing her life, so she was doing the things she really wanted to be doing instead of what everyone else wanted her to be doing. One of those things was visiting Besaid once a week. Usually they have a big family dinner at Wakka and Lulu's, almost-the-whole-gang back together (Rikku had even managed to bully Kimahri into coming down from Gagazet once in a while, as long as she picked him up). After, she usually goes down to the beach with Yuna and they sit and watch the sunset, just the two of them.

While they were climbing Iutycyr, they kind of realized that now the world was all saved (mostly) that there wasn't much keeping them together, no matter how much they cared about each other. It was sad, but it was life. Or, that's what she guessed someone more 'mature' would say.

That seemed stupid to Rikku.

She wanted Yuna in her life. And Paine. And Tidus, Wakka, Lulu, Kimahri, Gippal, Buddy, even Brother. Even her dad. Auron.

And she was the person who had to make that happen.

(That's last one is a little trickier, though).

"Hey Yunie?"

The sun was hanging low, peeking over the edge of the ocean, making the waves shimmer.

"Yeah, Rikku?"

"I'm really happy that you're happy, y'know?"

 

* * *

 

Three days later, Rikku is meandering downtown Luca, half-listening to Gippal talk about the state of the machine faction. Rikku loves the shape of Luca, with it's big curves striped with bright blues on top of soft whites, making the whole city look like waves. She listens to the sounds of the real waves lapping against the docks in the harbour while her eyes trace the skyline of Luca, and she thinks about what it would be like living here. Gippal asked her to move in with him, in his apartment by the water, but she loves living on an airship. Rikku loves the freedom, the space, the sounds, everything about the Celcius. Luca's nice, but she doesn't know if it's what she wants.

Gippal almost never stays on the airship with her - if they spend the night together, it's always at his apartment. He always has some sort of excuse, usually about Brother, or Buddy, or even one time Hypello.

"Oh, by the way, Rikku," Gippal stops, shuffling around for something in his pockets. "I know I'm missing our anniversary... so I wanted to give you something before I left."

Gippal pulls a little black box out, and for a split second Rikku thinks Yuna was right, and her breath catches. "Here, open it."

He just hands it to her, and her heart drops. Rikku cracks the box open, and it's a pair of earrings. They look just like spheres, blue and green and sparkly and dangly and super cute, and she loves them. It's not a ring, or whatever, but Rikku would be so totally pissed if Gippal was gonna propose to her like that, all half-assed and casual. She's hugging and kissing Gippal and cooing _thank yous_ and _I love yous_ and Gippal's lifting her up and laughing, and Rikku asks herself if she wants to marry Gippal.

She pictures him on one knee, crooked smile, sun setting behind him, and she's _pretty_ sure she'd say yes. If he asked. Which he didn't. But that's okay. They're young, anyways, and there's no need to rush that kind of stuff. She still has so much she wants to do, not that having a husband would ever stop her.

"Hold these!"

Rikku's pulling her feather earrings out and almost throwing them at Gippal, who's just laughing, while she flips her hair around, doing little spins and wiggling her eyebrows. Gippal corrals her, hands pushing her hair away from her ears, before cradling her face and kissing her.

"They bring out your eyes."

 

* * *

 

It's three days later, and Gippal's in Zanarkand. Or, on his way to Zanarkand, because ever since all the dumb tour guides were run out, New Yevon had somehow managed to have the whole ruin classified as 'protected'. So it's, like, pretty hard to get there now. You can't just fly in anymore, you gotta get approval and everything, unless you wanna walk like the old days (which weren't so old, really).

Rikku's sitting on the bridge, listening to Buddy and Brother go back and forth about _whatever_ , legs dangling out of the little pilot pod. When she's finally has had enough of Brother's voice, she kicks her legs around and gets up, heading up to the cabin.

Pops is there, sitting at the bar, nattering away to poor Hypello. He'd come on board to visit for a couple days - they were heading to drop him off in the Calm Lands tonight, where he was running the base for his hot springs business with O'aka. It was actually doing okay, at least compared to both of their last business ideas.

"Hey, old man. Can I ask you something?

"Huh? You looking for advice from me? That'd be a first."

Rikku fake-punches him. "C'mon. I have a real dad question for you, and you can't freak out, okay?"

Cid swivels on the bar stool to look at her. This probably was the first time she'd ever asked him about something serious since Sin was defeated - after the pilgrimmage, Cid and Rikku's relationship changed a lot. When mom died, Cid knew exactly what to say to make it a little closer to okay, but after Sin it was like... they didn't know how to talk to each other. She had probably been a little too rough on her pops, who just didn't know what to do with himself after Sin was gone. Everything in his life had been about rebuilding Home - but there was no real need for Home when the rest of the world is okay with you all of the sudden. It's only been six years, but she thinks that maybe her dad is a little bit bitter about how quickly everyone's forgotten the way it used to be. Sometimes Rikku notices little things, like if she speaks Al Bhed around people who don't know the language, she'll get a few dirty looks. It's hard to wipe away decades of mistrust and hatred, she guesses, and she gets why Cid is so hung up about it. Almost no one was interested in re-building Home, except him. When Gippal started the Machine Faction, she was _sure_ that Cid would be all about it too, but he just... wasn't. She wonders if he resents how easily Gippal was accepted as a leader to Spira.

Maybe that has something to do with why their relationship got so out of sync. Rikku had been gung-ho to say the least about rebuilding Spira and fixing everything and everyone, while Cid was just lost. With this, though, Rikku knows he'll give her a good answer, maybe after a bit of blustering.

Rikku takes a deep breath, "do you think I should marry Gippal?"

Cid is very, _very_ quiet for a moment, before launching into what's basically a rant, "do I think you should _what_? Did he ask you to marry you? What in the _damn_ hell? He didn't sayin nuthin' to me, shouldn't he ask me before asking you about that? Always thought that kid-"

"Pops, seriously, can it. You're so old-fashioned. And he hasn't asked me, anyways, I just... wanted to know what you'd think about the idea." Rikku rolls her eyes and leans back on the bar stool, studying her dad's reaction, watching the gears spin in his head for a few minutes.

"Do you _want_ to marry Gippal?"

"Hey! I'm asking you the question here, dummy."

Cid shakes his head. "Since when have you ever needed my approval, kid?"

"Is that your way of saying you don't approve?"

"No, no. Gippal's a nice boy, and you two have always been goin' back and forth like an old married couple, but you've never asked for my approval about... y'know, dating... and, I... don't know what you want me to say," Cid struggles to get his words out.

Rikku groans, "'cause you're my pops, duh. I care what you think"

"No you don't."

She fake punches him again, a little less faker this time. "Yes I do, pops!"

"Nuh-uh, you sure don't, little missy. Reminds me of your mom. She did whatever she damn well pleased and that's why I liked her so damn much in the first place."

Rikku's chest tightens. "C'mon, when me and Yunie became sphere hunters, you wouldn't shut up about how we should be getting married instead and settling down, or whatever. And now that I'm thinking about getting married you don't have anything to say?"

"Rikku... I'm... I'm an old man, and I know I'm stuck in my ways, and I've never been able to tell you or your damn brother what to do, no matter how hard I try," Cid sighs. "Maybe I don't know what's best for you anymore."

"It's nice to hear you say that for once, pops," Rikku grins.

"Oh, shut up."

Rikku lets out a big sigh. "I kinda thought Gippal was gonna ask me, but... he didn't. I dunno whether I'm relieved, or disappointed."

If she and Gippal had started seriously dating when they were younger, Rikku's sure she'd be dying to marry him by now. She's older now, though, and she's not so sure anymore.

"Hmmmm..." he leans his head on his hand. "Ya know, Rikku, it's a leap year."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

Cid grunts. " _Fryd dra ramm_? Did I never tell you how me and your mother got hitched?"

"No! Ooooo, tellmetellmetellme!"

"Well, it's Al Bhed tradition that a lady can propose to the, uh, man, on a leap day."

"Pft, a lady can propose whenever she wants, old man."

"I know, I know, you kids these days can do whatever you damn well please. Would you listen to me?"

Rikku motions that she's zipping her lips.

"Back then dating wasn't like it is now, y'know. With Sin everyone was gettin' married real young, and we didn't go round and round with each other the way you kids do, didn't have no time for it. Your mother... she used to call me _bayhid_ , and I was so... she was real beautiful, y'know?"

Cid pauses. Rikku can see how hard it is, even after all this time, for her dad to talk about mom. It makes her wanna cry. Like, a lot.

"You used to call me _bayhid_ when I was a little kid," she says quietly.

"Yeah. That was before... you know. It was hard after to... it reminded me of her, is all, and you were so much like her."

Rikku grabs Cid's hand and holds it, for probably the first time since before Home was destroyed.

"Anyways, you know me, I was puttering around trying to pick the best time to ask her, taking way too damn long, I guess, and then on leap day she walks up to me in the middle of Home, smacks me and called me an idiot, then asks me to marry her," Cid smiles, and Rikku thinks she hasn't Cid smile that genuinely in... an awful long time. "And that was that."

"Mom was awesome."

He laughs, "I wish she was still around for you."

"I wish she was still around for _you_ , old man."

Cid squeezes her hand, and lets go. "What I'm sayin' is, if you wanna marry Gippal, just go ask him yourself."

" _E muja oui_."

" _E mujia oui duu, bayhid_."

 

* * *

 

Rikku slips into the travel agency at the far end of the Calm Lands, having hopped off the Celcius at the same time as her dad, dead-set on meeting Gippal in Zanarkand, and maybe-probably- _hopefully_ proposing. She pictures herself strutting down the hill into Zanarkand, while Gippal looks up at her dumbfounded, asking what she's doing here. And she'll push him, and giggle, and kiss him, and tell him she wants to get married, and he'll pick her up and swing her around like he always does and they'll go home and she'll call Yunie and ask her to be her maid of honour and it'll be totally the cutest, bestest, happiest thing to happen to her.

The Travel Agency looks just like it always has, knick knacks stuffed in every corner, bright warm lights filling the room. Rikku notices a man sitting hunched over in the corner - he looks like he's asleep. The lady at the front desk doesn't pay him much mind as she helps Rikku find a few things for her hike up Gagazet. A laugh Rikku knows very well rings out, as Rin emerges from the back of the travel agency.

"Miss Rikku, may I ask what you're doing out here all by yourself?"

"Picking up stuff for an adventure. Got any deals for your _favourite_ customer?"

"Of course. Always the little adventurer."

He gives her a discount that she thinks could be way better, but she's not about the haggle with Rin. She always saw him like as her weird uncle, in a way - when she was really little he'd give her little gifts, and as she grew up, he would always be watching out for her from the corner of his eye. There was always something a little different about Rin.

"What are you doing here, by the way? Don't you have a new store in Luca?"

"I certainly do, but something came to my attention. I cannot neglect one business for another."

"Always got your hands in every pocket, huh?"

Rin just smiles. "Before you go, Rikku, perhaps you should take a coat. Mount Gagazet is still quite cold, after all."

She hadn't mentioned Gagazet, but she didn't question it - she'd come to known Rin for having the sharpest intuition, and always knowing more then he'd let on.

"Show me what ya got!"

"I have just the thing."

Rin disappears for a moment, and Rikku rocks back on forth on her heels, taking another look at the sleeping man. There's something so familiar about him. She takes a few steps closer to him, trying to get a better look. He's wearing black pants and a loose black shirt, with neat dark hair, but his face is turned away from her.

"This should work perfectly."

Rikku freezes, feeling a chill run through her whole body. Rin is hold two coats - one is beige with fur-trimming, perfect for the Gagazet weather. The other is clearly long, brushing the ground as Rin walks towards her, and a deep, dark, blood red. The kind of red that always draws her eye and makes her thinkhopefeel she's caught a glimpse of someone she lost a longlonglong time ago. Rikku reaches for the red coat instinctually.

"My apologies, this one is much too big for you, Rikku. I brought this one for you." Rin hands the smaller coat to her, a mysterious little smile beaming down at her. "This one belongs to our guest over there."

Rikku can feel the goosebumps all over her skin. She can't bring herself to look as she hears shuffling sounds. It can't be him. He's gone forever.

Rin brushes past her, and Rikku still can't turn around.

"Here you are."

"Thank you."

The voice is almost the same, but less weighed down. A little less raspy, a little lighter then she remembers, but it has to be him. It has to be.

Rikku whirls around, and it's him. Younger, the way he looked on Jecht's spheres - no grey around his temples, no crow's feet around his eyes, less scars on his arms. He's sitting up now, shoulders caved in with his elbows resting on his knees. The coat is lying next to him. Rin has mysteriously disappeared again.

"Auron?"

"Rikku."


	2. saying yes

Rikku feels a thousand things all at once. All the sadness she felt when he disappeared, all the anger, resentment, and regret in the months that followed, the confusion and self-doubt, the joy that he's here, now, and the fear that he'll disappear again. Everything hits her like a punch to the gut. And then she hits him, slamming her entire weight at him as she jumps him, arms tight around his neck. Her voice is soft, barely audible when she finally speaks.

"Are you for real? Like _for real_ , for real?"

"I suppose I'm as real as anyone."

His big arms wrap around her and Rikku wants to laughcryscream, but instead she settles for squeezing him so hard she hears him puff out a little breath. It's a very long moment before she finally releases him from her near-stranglehold, keeping a tight grip on his shirt so he can't go anywhere. He has two eyes now, which is weird, but nice. His hair is shorter, his skin is smoother, but it's still just Auron. Still carefully cryptic in his speech, still smelling vaguely like sake, just a little less rough around the edges.

Rikku doesn't bother asking _hows_ or _whys_ because it doesn't really matter, right now. It'll probably matter later. The fayth works in mysterious ways, or something, but if this even was them, from their deep slumber somewhere, some time, and Rikku sure as hell isn't going to question it in this moment.

Auron had been someone important to her, during the pilgrimage. He'd known from the start she was Al Bhed, and never looked at her different for it. He pushed her to be stronger and tougher, motivated her and made her a better guardian, listened to her with the rapt understanding few people could have given during that time. She'd shared with him things she'd never wanted to burden Yuna with during the pilgrimage. Auron had been one of the most influential people in her life, and he'd disappeared from it without a word.

And then she remembers Gippal.

Guilt wells up inside her as she takes in Auron's presence, and she can't quite place why. Auron had never been someone she was involved with... romantically, even if she'd had a crush on him. Rikku had struggled in the years after the pilgrimage to reconcile her feelings for Auron, and how much was real or imagined, and what their relationship had meant to him and to her. He'd said nothing about being unsent to her, and for Rikku that was proof enough. The longer she meditated on it, and the longer it had been since he'd disappeared completely and forever, the more comfortable she felt with what Auron meant to her, as a ghost, more or less. He meant to her what he meant to her, plain and simple, and there was nothing gained by dwelling on it.

Now here he was, standing in front of her, like a statue. A kind of _hot_ statue, if she's being honest. Young Auron kind of has it going on, though she misses the roughness just a little.

t doesn't really matter whether younger Auron or older Auron is hotter, though, because Gippal is on the other side of a mountain, literally, and she was going to propose to him. _Is_ going to propose to him. Auron being here shouldn't change that. She has a ring and everything.

"I'm climbing Gagazet to propose to my boyfriend."

Auron blinks at her, posture tensing just the teensiest.

"I see."

Rin appears again, like a magician arriving on stage to perform his next trick.

"Perhaps _,_ Rikku," he purrs, "our good friend would be so kind as to accompany you up the mountain? There is, after all, quite the storm brewing, and you know how bad the fiends can get during a storm." There's a twinkle in Rin's eye as he speaks, and Rikku can't shake the feeling that he's up to something. Maybe even behind this, somehow.

Rikku looks at Auron, trying to study his reaction and coming up with nothing. This whole situation is just... _bizarre_. But she'd come all this way, and she might as well climb a mountain with her newly revived old man crush. Who isn't really an old man anymore. To be fair, she's probably pretty close in age to him now. _Convenient_ , she thinks, and feels the guilt bubbling inside her.

"C'mon, you old meanie."

"You can't call me old anymore."

"You're technically, like, fifty by now."

"Technically, I'm forty-one," Auron's dry humoured voice still makes her smile.

"Still old."

"I look the way I did when I was twenty-five."

"I'm almost twenty-two," she says matter-of-factly.

"Not so much younger then I am."

"You're forty!"

Auron chuckles, the way he used to, and Rikku's heart feels so full. His laugh is not as rare as someone who doesn't know him might think. It's always low and warm and makes her feel like she's sitting beside a campfire as it burns out.

So she steps out of the travel agency with Auron close on her heels, and everything is different, but the same. They walk together quietly across the even plains of the Calm Lands, and it isn't until they're almost at the gorge that Rikku's mind starts really racing and she stops in her tracks.

"So... you're just... back?"

"I suppose... my story isn't over."

Rikku huffs. Even after all this time, he still acts like a weirdo. "How long have you been back?"

"It's hard to say."

"Why were you at the travel agency?"

"It's where I died."

"So what? You just woke up there?"

Auron just gives her a single, slow, deliberate nod in response. He's so frustrating. None of this makes sense, and it's all just... _magical_ , or something, like some kind of fairytale.

"Hmmm," Rikku cocks her head to one side, hands on her hips, sizing him up. He still has about a foot on her, height-wise, which is kind of annoying and kind of hot. She's pretty sure he's taller then Gippal. (Not that it matters.) "Well, Kimahri will be happy to see you. He's the leader, or elder, or whatever, of the Ronso now. Keeps pretty busy, but still has a soft spot for Yunie a lot of the time."

She turns on her heels, and Auron follows after her with a little bit of an intensity, like he's waiting for her every movement to match.

As they walk up the trail to the base of Gagazet, Rikku natters away, catching Auron up on everything he's missed, from Wakka and Lulu's baby to her sphere hunting adventures to Vegnagun-

"-waitwaitwait, I remember hearing your voice when we were fighting Vegnagun!"

"I was... there, for you and Yuna."

"C'mon, me and Yunie had it in the bag, old man."

By now Auron's put his big jacket on and she can tell he's smiling underneath his big cowl, because she could always tell. He always dips his head down, hiding just below his collar, raising his shoulders slightly like he's drawing his smile inward.

"You gotta meet Paine, too, I guess you saw her if you were watching us like some kind of creep. She reminds me of you, kinda, she holds her cards real close to her chest just like you."

Rikku continues on about everything and nothing, and she wonders how much of it he already knows. How much could he have seen, from the Farplane? Does he know everything she's said, or screamed, or cried, since he left?

"So what've you been up to the past six years, huh? Taking it easy?"

It's a fairly long moment before he speaks - okay, maybe not that long, but definitely a notable pause, at least.

"It got boring."

He's so _stupid_. He missed everything. He missed Yuna and Tidus' wedding! He could have given Yunie away, although Kimahri and Wakka fighting over it had stressed Yuna out enough for one lifetime. The whole of Spira went on spinning without him, free of Sin, and he wasn't there to enjoy it. She'd thought it was so unfair, how much he'd sacrificed for them to live in a world that was safe and peaceful and kind, and he never got to live in it himself. But now here he was, alive and okay and just fine, and she's just so _mad_ at him.

"So what? You just got bored and decided to _pop_ back into the world and see what was up?"

"No."

"Are you gonna just leave again, then, when you get bored of Spira? You gonna burst into pyreflies like it's nothing?" Rikku starts walking away, fast and angry, as she talks, voice speeding up frantically.

"I don't plan on it."

"Did you plan on coming back?"

"Not exactly."

"So maybe you _will_ leave and I'll just be stuck again and-" Auron grabs her arm roughly, stopping her in her tracks.

"Rikku." His voice is deep when he says it, like her name alone is some kind of question in and of itself. There's something soft and sad about his voice. There always was.

"Just promise me you're not going anywhere, and if you are going somewhere, then-"

"I have nowhere else to be."

This catches Rikku off guard. There's something he's not saying to her, and she's gonna figure it out, obviously, but for now she's just gonna have to deal with cryptic, weird, annoying Auron being cryptic and weird and _annoying_.

(Just like the old days.)

They're closing in on the base of Gagazet - its big stone gates are coming into view, so Rikku decides to drop her interrogation of Auron (for now). She breaks into a jog when she sees Kimahri in the distance. She tackles him when she reaches him - or, she jumps on his back with a whole lotta gusto, and he remains completely unphased.

Before Kimahri can say anything, he sees Auron. Rikku drops down off of Kimahri's back, and grabs his big fuzzy hand in both of hers, attempting to drag the Ronso towards Auron, who maintains a steady approach.

"It has been a long time, my friend," Auron says it like he hasn't been dead for six years (technically, sixteen), which is so totally an Auron thing to do. Rikku rolls her eyes.

-

There wasn't a lot to Kimahri and Auron's reunion, really. Some very solemn nods and very few words exchanged, for the most part. Rikku stays quiet and hangs back while they share their moment. Neither of them has ever been very talkative by themselves, let alone with each other, but there's always been a very deep, almost tangible bond between them. When she was fifteen it made her impatient, but the older she gets the more she understands. Rikku had been visiting Gagazet more often in the past few years, in an attempt to spend more time with Kimahri. She thinks he made her a better listener, at least a little bit.

While Rikku waits, she wanders around chatting with the Ronso. Her favourite person to talk to is Kimahri's girlfriend, who is about as chatty as he is, but one time Rikku coaxed a smile out of her by mentioning how cute it was that Kimahri was shorter then her. Rikku really isn't sure about whether or not they're married, to be honest, but if she is Kimahri's wife then Rikku's gonna be a little annoyed cause she wasn't invited to the wedding, and she really feels like Ronso weddings are probably really fun. Not like, dance-all-night fun, but maybe a few fights or something. Even if it was super boring, she'd wanna be there anyway.

Rikku gives Kimahri a big hug before they continue their trek. The teleport pads aren't working, which kind of sucks, but secretly she's pretty okay with it because it means more time with just Auron.

As they climb, Rikku stays close to Auron, and he makes no moves to put any distance between them. The wind and snow are getting heavier, making talking difficult the further they progress. When the weather is clear and bright, Gagazet takes at least a few days journey to cross, if you make good time.

They aren't really making good time, because of the weather, she tells herself. Mostly.

"Hey, old man, follow me, okay?"

She doesn't wait for his response, taking a sharp turn from the usual route up the mountain to climb up a few of the rocks towards the hot spring.

There was a much easier path to get to the main part of the hot spring, but ever since her pops and O'aka had made a business outta the springs, there were usually a few people around them. With the storm, maybe not, but either way there's a smaller hot spring a little bit above the main pool that runs into the bigger one. You gotta climb to reach it, but it's a best-kept-secret kinda deal. She found it by accident trying to hop off the airship at the springs to save herself the walk. Rikku typically goes with Yunie or Paine, but Auron will do.

As she finishes her climb, she turns around and watches as Auron making easy work of the haphazard cliffs. She catches a glimpse of one of his arms and the muscles rippling as he pulls himself onto a ledge. Auron will definitely do.

The little spring is on an alcoved platform, shielding it from the wind for the most part. It's the perfect place to stop.

"Wanna wait out the storm here?"

Auron grunts in response as he brushes the snow off his coat, having made it to the landing.

"You're the one on a mission," he points out. All of his attitude came back to life with him, it seems.

"Jeez, just checking. You're as grumpy as ever."

Auron being back is really doing a number on her priorities, but maybe a little self-reflection is good in a situation like this.

Does she _want_ to marry Gippal? She's been marinating on the question since Yunie brought it up a few days ago, and her answer keeps changing. She'd been trying to calculate how much of her reaction to Gippal's anniversary gift had been disappointment, and how much had been relief. And if Rikku has to think about all these things, doesn't that say enough as it is?

And no matter what Auron and his big ol' biceps and deep, sensual voice are making her feel, Rikku isn't even sure that Auron _wants_ her, the way she thinks she might seriously-kind-of-really-for-real want him. Not like when she was fifteen, and the world was ending (literally), and Auron was this unattainably handsome, badass, grumpy old guy that it was safe to have a crush on, because nothing was ever gonna happen. Before the pilgrimage, she'd been crushing on Gippal, hardcore, but it was different. Gippal had teased her endlessly, riled her up on purpose for a reaction, kissed her chastely in the little hidden corners of Home. But now she's twenty-one, and the world isn't ending, and she has a lot better of an idea of what she wants. _Really_ wants.

So she bites her lip, and sheds her jacket and her scarf and her boots all the way down to her underwear, turns on her heels and heads straight into the hot spring.

Rikku wades out a bit to where it's deeper and she can swim properly before she turns around to look at Auron, who's just standing still on the rocks, watching her.

"You coming in, old man?"

He doesn't say anything, but he does take his jacket off, dropping it lazily over a rock, and Rikku's breath hitches just a bit. Auron kicks off his boots, and then his shirt goes next, lifted over his head, and there's _no way this is real_.

This morning Auron was dead to her, far away from her world, made up of air and light and memories. It's been maybe six or seven hours since he reappeared in her life without announcement or ceremony, and he's taking his shirt off to join her in a hot spring.

The _clinking_ sound of Auron undoing his belt breaks Rikku out of her thoughts, and she starts feeling heat building up inside of her. It's strange, this whole encounter. It's the most unexpected thing that's happened in her life, which is saying something considering every day she does something that's at least a little crazy, but it almost feels... inevitable.

Finally, clad only in a pair of black shorts, Auron steps slowly into the hot spring, and it's a lot. Between his long black hair tied back, his noticeable-even-at-a-distance abs, and his massive thighs, Rikku's having a hard time.

And like, she has a boyfriend slash hypothetical fiance, so she _really_ shouldn't be having such a hard time.

In her defense, the Spira she's living in right now, this second, is vastly different than the one she woke up in. Auron is here and solid and basically naked and coming right for her.

Rikku sinks low into the water so only her head appears. She's trying real hard to keep the blush from her face, and is doing her total best to not look directly at his abs, or his arms, or his face. None of it. He sinks his entire body into the water and Auron lets out a low groan.

"Do they have hot springs in the farplane?"

"They do."

"Oh, well, that's good to know I guess."

A comfortable silence falls over the two of them as they rest in the hot springs. Auron hovers near her, but not so close that they touch, except for the couple times her foot bumps against him. Rikku's perfectly content like this, even if it feels a little bit too much like cheating. It's not cheating, really, because she isn't doing anything.

It still feels like it, though.

Rikku bumps her foot against Auron's leg again (by accident, she swears) and this time Auron grabs it gently, leaning back. She moves her other foot closer and Auron grabs that one too, holding them with his eyes closed as he sits back on the edge of the spring. Rikku's sitting facing him, feet in his lap, and it's really started to feel a bit more like cheating. If Gippal walked up right now, what would he say? What would _she_ say? _Oh, hey babe, this is Auron, he was my formative crush during my teen years and he's young now but still super hot and strong and we're just hanging out semi-naked in a hot spring but don't even worry about it_.

"Sooo, did you miss me?"

"Yes."

Rikku isn't expecting to Auron give such a straightforward answer without hesitation, even if Auron is a straightforward person who doesn't typically hesitate in general, it still feels like a loaded question with a loaded answer.

"Did you miss me... the most?"

Auron opens his eyes and lifts his head from the edge of the spring when her voice falters on the last word. "Compared to what?"

"To everyone. Yunie, Tidus, Wakka, Lulu, Kimahri. All of us."

Auron makes that 'hmpf' noise he would respond with to questions that amused him. She knows it's an immature question, but she needs  _him_ to make the first move. 

He's infuriating.

"I didn't miss you pickpocketing me."

"Hey! You're still such a meanie."

"I didn't miss you stealing my glasses."

"That was like, one time, Auron."

"Four times."

Auron hasn't looked away from her, but she can feel him pulling her a little closer to him, eyes getting darker.

"I didn't miss how expertly you waste time."

And now Rikku's kinda mad, 'cause all the time she wastes, it's valuable in its own way, you know? And she's about to pipe up and let Auron know exactly how little time she actually wastes when she realizes he's pulled her all the way into his lap. Both of her legs are draped over his, and one of his hands is resting easy on her thigh, requiring little effort to keep her from drifting away; the other hand moves up to finger one of her long braids.

"What if I still do all those things?"

Auron smiles.

"We have all the time in the world, now."

The hand playing with her hair moves to her face, and she leans into him. It's the gentlest she's ever been kissed, being held in his big, firm hands, and he's agonizingly slow with her. Rikku's a get-up-and-go kinda girl, and usually with Gippal their kisses are all messy and dorky and sweet, and when they have sex it's fun and flirty and over kinda quick but not in a bad way. This is different. She scrambles to straddle him, knees resting on either side of his hips, but even from this position Auron's proceeding very carefully, taking his sweet time. He firmly grips his hands into her hips and holds her in place until she stops moving. After she finally stills, his hands glide gently up her sides, skimming over her breasts, cradling her head at the base of her neck as he just looks at her.

It's dangerously intimate, and Rikku feels really, truly seen for the first time in a long time.

Auron kisses her again, a little deeper this time. She can feel his smile when she sucks his lower lip, and can barely hold back a moan when she feels his tongue against her teeth. Everything is still slow and gentle, but Rikku is starting to get pretty okay with that, 'cause it feels like this isn't going to end any time soon. Auron seems pretty happy to be in a hot spring with a cute girl in his lap, which is a situation she never coulda pictured him in during the pilgrimage. He was always on. It was always about moving forward, reaching the end, finishing what he'd started.

"Auron..." she sighs his name as he starts methodically kissing her neck, one hand drifting down towards her hips again, cupping her ass.

"Mmm."

"Is that what you came back for?"

He sucks hard on her neck in response for a brief second, before resuming his slow pace. She has more questions, but she has a feeling he's not about to answer any of them at this moment, so she lets herself go in his strong arms, letting herself feel good. They stay in that position for a while, and Auron makes no moves to cross any other lines. He just keeps kissing her, touching her, breathing her in like she's a book he can't stop reading.

Eventually, Rikku can't take it anymore. She grinds against him, hard and slow, sinking her hips as low as she can get them to go. Auron buries his face in her neck when she does it, and she knows he's finally caving.

Or, she thought he was finally caving, but Auron must have a will of steel or something because he's not taking the bait. Instead, he peels her off of him, keeping her still placed comfortably in his lap, and just looks at her again.

The whole thing is making her deeply and wildly impatient, and she rolls her hips one more time. When Auron still doesn't relent and just keeps staring at her with that little twinkle of bemusement, she tries to grab his face to pull him back in for a kiss, but he catches her wrists and holds them tight.

"Ugh, Auron, please..." Rikku whimpers, wriggling against him.

"Is this what you want?"

Rikku just moans in response, struggling to no avail.

"Rikku, is this what you really want?"

"Auron..."

"I won't unless you're sure."

"I'm sure."

"And will you be so sure tomorrow?"

Reality hits Rikku way too fast when she remembers why she's even halfway up Mount Gagazet. She has no idea how long she's been in Auron's lap, but she knows that it hasn't been as long as the almost year she's spent dating Gippal.

Even if that year feels like nothing compared to a pilgrimage.

Rikku (reluctantly) slides off of Auron, suddenly sheepish compared to just minutes ago.

"If that is your choice, I will help you get to Zanarkand."


	3. setting a date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi to the 1 person reading this. BIG smile to u. i was gonna make this 3 chapters but now its 5 lol. kiss

It had been maybe half an hour or so since the... incident, she's gonna call it. They'd sat quietly in the hot spring for a while longer, several feet apart, obviously, until Auron had stood up calmly and waded out of the spring like nothing much had happened at all. Rikku had drawn her knees up to her chest and stayed in the spring, too embarassed to climb out and face whatever was gonna happen next between them. If she got out, she'd have to make a choice. A bunch of choices, probably, but more then that, she'd have to make one big, fat choice that could totally change everything forever.

As long as she stayed inside the spring, she didn't have to decide anything.

It also hadn't helped that when Auron had gotten out, he'd walked all slow and deliberate so she could see, like, all of his muscles. Which totally had to have been on purpose, because Auron _had_ to know the way he looked, and maybe he was enjoying having a young, less dead version of his body back? The water really hadn't helped, either, 'cause Auron's back with all the hot water rolling down it was kind of a turn on, if she's being one hundred percent honest.

Okay, Rikku enjoyed sex, you know? Like, it was fun, and she liked the way it made her feel (most of the time). Sometimes what she thinked she really liked about it was the feeling of being wanted by someone else. Which sounds totally selfish, sorta ,but Rikku's pretty sure that's how a lotta people feel about sex. And maybe if they just admitted that, they'd enjoy it a whole lot more. Sex wasn't really this be-all, end-all, best-feeling-in-the-world type of thing for Rikku, and she thinks anyone who pretends it is is lying.

But then, making out with Auron had almost totally rocked her world, and their whole encounter hadn't even gotten all that juicy. But even the way Auron's hands felt on her skin had made her all tingly and euphoric-like, like she was high on something. It felt different than when she'd had sex with other people (like, say, with her longterm boyfriend Gippal).

'Cause like she was saying, she liked the way it felt to know Gippal wanted her; turning him on, gauging his reactions, knowing how desperate he was to touch her - those things were all part of the game. Rikku kinda gets in her head about all those things, and how she looks and what she's doing, but with Auron she'd just kinda stopped overthinking for once, and let herself go.

Not that Gippal was bad, or anything, it was just... different.

Gippal made her giggle. Gippal flirted back. Gippal liked playing around.

Auron was a lot more serious, and he hadn't come to play games with her. When he'd stared her down all stone-faced and asked, _are you gonna feel this way tomorrow?_ It spooked her. Bad.

You can't have your cake and eat it too, they always say. Whoever 'they' are suck, though, cause the expression doesn't make any sense when you break it down. Rikku gets the idea behind it, sure; you can't have it all, and you have to make hard choices sometimes, and blah blah blah, but it's stupid because you can't eat a cake if you don't have one, so the only option is to have a cake and let it rot.

Which is kind of how this whole situation feels. If Auron is here, and not just here, here, but _here forever_ , and she marries Gippal... then Auron is the cake, right?

Or what if this is some weird magical true love thing and Auron's gonna disappear if she doesn't kiss him by midnight?

Though, she's already kissed him, like a lot, so he's probably safe for at least a day.

And then she thinks, well, she might as well go all the way to Gagazet, and then maybe she'll know.

What she'll know, she's really not sure, but she'll know. Maybe. Hopefully.

(She'll see).

 

* * *

 

While she'd stewed in the hot spring, Auron had started a fire and laid out the sleeping roll she'd packed. Sleeping roll. Singular.

What kind of legendary guardian sets off onto a mountain without any kind of supplies? He'd just followed her up here without anything except his coat! What an idiot.

"So, do you have to sleep, or nah?"

Auron just chuckles in response. Typical.

"Seriously, you still slept when you were unsent, sometimes, anyways. I think. Maybe you were faking it, though. What are you now, a zombie? Do you sleep now?"

"I sleep."

"And where are you gonna sleep, old man?"

"On the ground, I suppose."

" _I suppose_ ," she mocks his voice as she says it, but then something hits her, and she's sad. Auron's voice, when he isn't being serious, has a wry air to it. Hearing him now, voice lighter and free of all his old burdens, makes her wanna cry.

It wasn't fair. It wasn't ever fair. Why should Auron have been forced to hold the world up? She'd always known him when he was old and grumpy and serious and so, so, so tired. And from the little she knew about him pre-pilgrimage from Jecht's spheres, he's always been a pretty uptight and pious dude, but he just wanted to protect people. And the world failed him, so he tried to do what he thought was right, and it got him killed, and even that wasn't enough. Can you imagine that? Being so totally overwhelmed by the weight of the world and feeling so guilty you couldn't fix it that you just kept going? How could all of that fall on one person?

They ended the cycle, but now Rikku wonders what she'd be like now if Yuna had sacrificed herself and Tidus had become the next Sin. Would she be anything like Auron? Knowing everything he knew, and believing so deep in his marrow that it was wrong, with his faith broken into tiny little pieces, Auron kept going. How many people would even try?

And it was completely breaking her heart to see him now, without all the salt and pepper and scars and the legendary guardian-ness. He was just Auron. On the pilgrimmage, when he wasn't being one-hundred-percent-serious-tough-guy Auron, she'd seen little glimpses of this Auron. A sarcastic Auron, a peaceful Auron, a free Auron. An Auron that could never have existed before.

Once, a few months ago, Yuna had told a story at dinner with everyone about how Auron had teased her when she'd slept in at Djose. She'd been so anxious, imagining how disappointed and angry Auron must have been with her, only for him to laugh along with the other guardians and say "once Lady Yuna fixes her hair, we leave" in the warmest voice he was capable of at the time. She smiled sadly, looking down, as she talked about how she'd been so embarassed, and how now looking back on it, it was one of her favourite memories of Auron. It was a little thing, but really the small stuff stays with you the most during something like the pilgrimmage, 'cause that was when you really got to see each other.

Rikku'd always kept little memories like that close to her heart. Like when she'd been getting into it with Wakka at Lake Macalania and Auron had called her over to get the speeders working. It didn't seem like something bid, but it was. He intervened. He knew. He saw her.

Rikku started to cry.

"Why are you back?"

Auron looks up at her, and says nothing.

"Why are you back now, huh? Why now? Why not last year, before I started dating Gippal? I would have picked you!" Rikku balls her fists up, unable to stop crying, "I would have picked you."

Auron stands up, but he still doesn't speak.

"I don't get it! Even if you'd come back a month ago, maybe... but I was all set to propose, kind of. And now you're here, and I was already doubting myself, and, and...and it's stupid." Rikku's closed the distance between them now, and is hitting his chest with her fists. "You didn't deserve to die! You never even got to live! The whole time... why did everything fall on you? And then you finally got to rest, and now you're back 'cause you got bored? This whole time I was so sad because you never even got to see the eternal calm, and now you're back and you could be doing anything but you're taking me to propose to my dumb boyfriend! It's stupid!"

She's still crying, and still trying to punch Auron, and he's just standing there taking it.

"It's not fair! Because I wanna pick you, but everything is stupid!"

"There's no rush."

"How? How is there no rush, huh? You came back at the worst possible time, did you know that? Did you? And why'd you have to come back all hot, too? Like, you weren't hot enough before so you had to come back hotter?"

"I didn't realize," he says it like it's a joke. Rikku just wants to scream at him. She doesn't want to pick. She doesn't want to be the princess in some stupid fairytale who has to make the right choice and end up with her true love or whatever.

Rikku shoves him.

"I'm so mad at you, Auron."

He chuckles. "You should be."

Rikku shoves him, harder. And then she makes up her mind.

 

* * *

 

It's been a few days since Auron came back, and everything is totally, completely different, but still the same.

After she'd screamed at Auron for basically being too hot and sensual for her to deal with at that exact present moment, she'd decided the best course of action was to turn around. Things had escalated between her and Auron real fast, and she wants to tell herself that it's kind of a special circumstances type of deal, but obviously she's not ready to commit to marriage if this is the way she's acting, y'know? It was all just way too much, too fast, too soon for Rikku to process. She's not being a flake, really! She's being mature. Plus, imagine the kinda reaction everyone would have if she dragged Auron through Besaid re-introducing him as her boyfriend. Wakka's not that old, but what if he had a heart attack or something?

Tidus and Yuna had spotted the Celcius approaching and had wandered down to the beach to greet Rikku like they usually do if they see her coming, 'cause they're really good at being her best friends. Auron had jumped off a few seconds after her, and watching them react was the best. Tidus had broken into a run as soon as he realized that it was really, for real, actually Auron. Yuna followed close behind, and she'd gotten all flustered and apologized profusely after realizing the two of them had nearly taken Auron down, all while Tidus laughed like a maniac.

It was the best.

Auron had just smiled as the three of them dragged him into the village. Wakka's eyes nearly popped out his head as he stumbled over his own feet to get Lulu, who exhibited a very Lulu-like calmness about the whole thing.

(Rikku'd caught a little glimpse of the couple tears Lulu had tried to hide, though.)

Everyone else had been in a hurry to catch him up on six long, busy years, and it makes Rikku feel possessive. She wanted to be the one to tell him everything, but she knows she's not really entitled to that, epecially since she'd turned him down. 

Yuna is the only one Rikku tells about what happened on Gagazet. The two of them are lying on the beach the second night since Auron's arrival on Besaid when Rikku admits everything. It all pours out of her fast and loose while Yuna just holds her hand and listens.

"You know, when we were talking about Gippal proposing, it made me nervous. And then when he didn't, I was disappointed, but I was also kind of... relieved, y'know?"

"Do you think if Gippal proposed to you now, you'd say yes?"

"Ugh, I don't know!"

Yuna lets out a little 'hmmm' before shaking her head and saying, "if you're not sure, then it's not a yes."

"Why do you always have to be so smart, Yunie?" Rikku growns, "I just wish it was easier to choose between them."

"Well, maybe you don't have to."

"Huh?" Rikku sits up on the beach, eyebrows raised all the way up. "Geez, one boyfriend is annoying enough to deal with..."

"No! I don't mean that," Yuna giggles. "I only meant, maybe you don't have to think about choosing one thing or the other."

Rikku lays back down, confused expression still plastered on her face.

"Well, why not think about Gippal and Auron separately?" Yuna splays her hands out, like she's holding Rikku's options in them. "You're not sure if you want to marry Gippal, but do you want to be with him? And once you figure out your answer," she claps her hands together, "then you can decide what to do about Auron."

"Sooo, you're saying decide what to about Gippal, and then worry about Auron after."

"Exactly!"

"Huh. That's some pretty sage advice, Master Yunie. Sometimes I forget you're the high summoner."

"Hmm, sometimes I forget, too."

They lie there for a while longer, until Yuna starts giggling.

"What?"

"Sir Auron is kind of cute now, huh?" 


	4. tying the knot

This has been the longest week of Rikku's life. At least, the longest week post-Sin. Yet somehow, it went by like it was nothing.

It's her last night before she's set to hop back on the Celsius and see Gippal, and Wakka had organized a barbeque with the whole village on the beach. All week she'd been dancing around Auron, throwing him lingering glances left and right while overthinking the _slightly_ -too-intimate touches they keep sharing totallybyaccident here and there, but they hadn't been alone together since Gagazet. There'd always been someone around, someone unknowingly placing themselves between her and Auron, and it wasn't until everyone was around that she'd finally been able to talk to him like no one was around.

Rikku kept her eyes on Auron all night while she flitted around person to person, until she spied him prying himself away from Gatta.

"Going somewhere, old man?"

He's not facing her when she asks, but she's pretty sure he smiles, "I was going to take a walk by the falls."

"You know, it can get dangerous out there all by yourself."

"If only I knew of a legendary guardian who could accompany me."

Auron looked back, and she was right. He's smiling. The look on his face burned itself into her little brain. Rikku could hardly stand it.

"You want me to go get Wakka for you?"

"I think he's a little busy," Auron nods to the fire a few feet away where Wakka is seated comfortably with his arms around Lulu while they watch Vidina nearby.

"Hmmm. Yunie and Tidus dipped too, so I guess you're stuck with me."

"I guess so."

"You don't need to say it like that, you big meanie!"

Auron let out that low chuckle she loved so much.

She'd been trying to think about Gippal and Auron separately, like Yuna'd suggested, but doing so was getting real dangerous, 'cause when she thinks about Auron all she can think about is the way he talks, the way he smiles, even the way he looks. Like, since they'd gotten to Besaid, he'd shed his trademark jacket in favour of black shirts and loose pants almost exclusively, and it was so hot. Seeing him standing on the beach, hands in his pockets, gentle breeze blowing his hair just the slightest bit, with that expression on his face, all Rikku can see is what it would be like to come home to him. To see him look at her like that, every day. To hold his hand any time she wanted. She can see herself in this moment, running into his arms and having him sweep her up in this intense kiss. It was easy. It was crystal clear.

When she thinks about Auron, just Auron, she barely gives Gippal a second thought.

Until the guilt catches up to her.

'Cause when she thinks about Gippal, she still thinks about Auron.

Rikku realizes they'd just been standing there staring at each other like weirdos, and she knows what she'd gotten caught up thinking about, but she has no clue what he's thinking, and Rikku really, really, _really_ wants to know.

"Hey, so, you probably know already or whatever, but I'm heading to Luca tonight..." she says it like she's almost embarassed.

Auron just nods.

"And, um, I wanted to, you know, tell you... I've been thinking a lot about everything."

Silence.

"I was just wondering... what you were thinking, about the whole thing, you know? 'Cause like... you gotta think something, right? You've been totally stonewalling me all week, basically, and-"

Auron cuts her off, almost coldly, "I've already made my position clear."

"Your _position_? What does that even mean, huh? This isn't like, some dumb trial or whatever, this is- um, I mean... I don't know what to call this, but-"

"I'm not going to try to force your hand. It's your choice to make."

"Sin isn't here anymore, Auron! You don't have to say everything like it's a riddle! You can just tell me stuff!"

"I did tell you."

"You didn't tell me anything!"

Auron goes silent again.

"Like, you didn't even tell me why you came back, so what am I supposed to do? Upend my entire life because you've been back for a _week_? What if you... what if you burst into pyreflies again, like it's nothing?" Rikku knows they're too close to the crowd, knows she's probably drawing attention to them, but she doesn't care. "I just need you to promise me you're going to be here when I get back."

He gives her a measured stare, and it's all dark and broody and typical Auron.

"I told you, Rikku," Auron's voice is slow, like he's explaining something to a child. Rikku tries to cut him off to tell him that no, actually, he didn't tell her, when he says - "I have nowhere else to be."

Rikku opens her mouth, then closes it again, and it's in this moment, this one right here, where everything goes wrong.

Auron's expression hardens, and at first she thinks it's directed at her, but then she realizes no one was paying attention to her little meltdown because there'd been something even louder on the beach then her. An airship.

Rikku whirls around, and it's Gippal.

Gippal coming towards her with a big goofy grin. Gippal closing in on her with his arms spread wide. Gippal lifting her up by the waist and spinning her around. Gippal kissing her, right there, on the beach, in front of everyone. In front of Auron.

"Surprise."

 

* * *

 

 

Rikku doesn't see where Auron went. She doesn't know how much he saw, or how much he heard, or how he reacted.

Gippal had strutted onto the beach of Besaid on his big ol' airship with a big ol' ring and had swept her up in his arms then knelt down, and she almost didn't even hear him ask, it all happened so fast, but he asked her to marry him.

And Rikku hasn't said a thing since. Gippal had gone on and on for she's honestly not really sure how long, and it was like she'd retreated into her brain or something while he was talking. The actual question, posed with that sheepish grin, the will-you-marry-me, it clicked a few seconds too late. As soon as she processed it, her gut reaction was to turn around to look at Auron, but he was gone.

And when she didn't see him there, she looked for Yuna in the crowd. And when she didn't see Yuna, Rikku started to panic. And then she remembered that she hadn't said anything, and Gippal was standing up now, and everyone on the beach was looking at them, and she had no idea what to say. Everything this week has happened at precisely the wrong time.

"Hey, hey, Rikku... what's wrong?" Gippal's right in front of her now, hands hovering around her face, her shoulders, like he's checking her for an injury. Which was the worst part, for sure. Because Gippal didn't even seem pissed that she'd totally clammed up and embarrassed him in front of literally everyone on the island. "Hey, hey, it's okay, let's go sit down, huh? Okay?"

Rikku nods, realizing she totally looks like she's about to cry, and lets Gippal lead her to a quiet part of the beach and sit her down on the sand. They sit there for a while in silence, Gippal rubbing her arms - which is just making it that much harder. Couldn't he just act like a total moron, like when they were kids? If he rolled his eyes, if he blew up at her, if he pushed her for an explanation, then she wouldn't have to break his heart and feel guilty about it. She could just _do_ it.

Then again, maybe it's better that it's not easy. Maybe it means she's realized that big something, or whatever, and she can approach this head on.

"I don't want to get married."

Gippal rubs the back of his neck when she admits it, and she knows it's a defensive habit. He only really rubs his neck like that when he's trying to look casual 'cause he's hiding something, or he's been called out, or he's insecure.

"I thought you did," he offers quietly.

Rikku shakes her head, and Gippal lets out a sight.

"I gotta come clean - Brother told me you were coming to Zanarkand to propose."

" _Brother?_ "

"Yeah, he sent me this... bizarre sphere yelling at me," Rikku raises her eyebrows and Gippal laughs. "You don't wanna see it, trust me, but I got the gist. I think, anyways. And to be honest, I was surprised you'd been thinking about marriage at all."

Rikku feels tears threatening to spill over and scrunches up her face.

"I figured we were... way off from that, but then every day you didn't show up to Zanarkand in some crazy over-the-top Rikku-brand stunt, I started thinking about it..." Gippal inhales, "and I thought, you know, maybe it made sense."

Rikku sits up on her knees next to Gippal and holds his hands in hers. He rubs his thumbs on the back of her hands.

"Gippal, I- I thought I wanted to get married. I mean, kind of. Yunie kind of put the idea in my head that you were gonna propose before our anniversary, and at first I thought it was totally dumb, 'cause I didn't think we were... _there_ either. And then, you know, you didn't propose, and I... I dunno, I guess I got caught up thinking about it. And I asked my _dad_ what he thought about it, and he gave me the idea to propose, and I even got partway up Gagazet..."

"You did?"

"Yeah, but then, um, something really complicated happened, and I wasn't really sure anymore."

Gippal nods and leans into her, waiting for her to continue.

"So, like, okay. You can't - I need you to really listen, 'cause it's gonna sound totally nuts, okay? Basically... you remember Auron?"

"Who?"

"Sir Auron."

"The dead legendary guardian? Or a different guy?"

"The legendary one."

Gippal squints.

"Okay, it's really weird to explain, 'cause I don't even get it, and I don't even know if _he_ gets it, but he's like, not-so-dead anymore."

"Huh?"

"Yeah, he's here, and - okay. First of all I want you to know that I'm reallyreallyreally sorry, and there isn't really any excuse, y'know, even if it's totally very special circumstances and stuff but-"

"Sorry, can we back up?"

"To what?"

"Old legendary guardian came back to life?"

Rikku lets out a short gasp of air that's almost like a laugh. "Yeah, yeah, I don't really know how to explain it, okay? But he's like, all alive and stuff, and I ran into him in the Calm Lands and he agreed to help me cross the mountain to, like, propose, but then we, um, kind of-" she stops short.

"You...?"

"We kind of like, kissed."

Gippal's face is blank.

"And again, I'm really sorry. Like, I can't even begin to explain how sorry, Gippal. It was totally unplanned and like, really weird and kind of magical - I mean, like, not the kiss, although, um, I mean, no like I mean Auron being alive and stuff and-"

"Are you joking?"

"What? No!"

Gippal releases her hands, "if you are, it's not funny, Rikku."

"Gippal, I'm serious. I promise. I wouldn't - I wouldn't _do_ that."

"Okay. Okay. Where is Auron now?"

Rikku can hear the anger rising in Gippal's voice, and she can't really blame him, 'cause like, it does sounds really super crazy and made up. She grabs his face and makes him look at her straight, "I promise. I'm serious. I'm a hundred percent serious."

"Where is he?"

"I don't know. I don't know. We were talking when you got here, and-"

"Stop."

Rikku reaches for Gippal, but he pulls his knees up and closes himself off to her, looking down at the sand. He's usually so open, so easy to reach, so amiable.

"I know that you're mad at me, and that totally makes sense, 'cause this is crazy but I just... I do love you, like a lot, y'know? And I really don't want you to hate me. I just think... I just... what if it's not you and me?"

There's a beat.

"It thought it was always gonna be you and me, Cid's girl."

Rikku's stomach flips. _Cid's girl_. She knows exactly what he means. Always, forever, from the start. Something inevitable.

"I thought so too."

In a different world, it probably was.

"So is it you and him, then?"

"I don't know."

"He came back a week ago, and it's you and him," Gippal doesn't say it to her, exactly, it's more like he says it to himself.

"I don't know if it's me and him, either, okay?"

Gippal finally looks up at her, "then it's you and who, Rikku?"

"Maybe it's just me."

After a long, long time, he finally cracks that sheepish grin again.

 

* * *

 

 

Rikku goes back to Luca with Gippal, even though they're pretty much broken up. She doesn't see Auron before she leaves, but she isn't worried. If he really has nowhere else to be, if he really has all the time in the world now, then he can wait. One week is nothing compared to the rest of her life, really.

Gippal is surprisingly amiable about the whole thing. He's still hurt, and a little mad sometimes, but that's okay. He's definitely allowed to be mad at her, and definitely madder then he's letting on, that's for sure. Maybe he's just hiding it real well. At first he helps her gather all the stuff she had at his place, but then he kind of bails partway through, and she doesn't really blame him for it, 'cause it's making her pretty sad too and it's kind of worse when he's there.

They share an awkward moment right before he leaves, where he leans in and kisses her very gently and brushes his thumb against her chin real fast before turning away.

Rikku doesn't rush back to Besaid after that. The opposite, really - she ends up back on the Celcius, where she totally goes in on Brother for being such a total moron while Buddy just leans back and laughs. She coasts on the airship for a few days, hemming and hawing over what exactly she wants her next move to be.

Mostly, she just wants to see Yuna, but going back to Besaid to see her means going back to see Auron, so commspheres will have to do.

Rikku had just finished recounting that whole night on the beach when Yuna laughs abruptly. Still that with soft signature Yunie style, but abrupt nonetheless.

"Hey! Why're you laughing?"

"You've always been just you, Rikku."

Rikku blinks.

"Even during the pilgrimmage," Yuna has this smile on, the one she gets when she's about to say something that makes Rikku feel like the whole world and more. "You were always just you."

"Okay, I love you, but I've had enough cryptic messages for one week, Yunie."

"What I mean is... I know sometimes you feel like you're always at the wrong point in your own story, but to me, you've always been exactly who I needed you to be. You've always been Rikku."

Yunie always, always, always knows just the thing to say to make Rikku feel better, and also kind of like she's gonna cry.

"Hey, do you remember when I said next time would be your story?"

Rikku nods, grin spreading on her face.

"Remember you asked if you'd get a hunky boy in your story?"


End file.
